My Identity Crisis

We are thrilled to feature another blog post by Jacquelyn Taylor, a 10th grader in Maine. She was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 9 and dyscalculia at age 14. Her passions include: spreading awareness about learning disabilities, travel, cooking, and writing. You can connect with her on TikTok: @jacquelyn_elyse

by Jacquelyn Taylor

My identity is partly made up of my learning disabilities, they help to make me who I am. I am able to have more empathy toward other people because of them. People who have learning disabilities sometimes "mask" them from others. In third through eighth grade I masked my learning disabilities from my classmates and only told close friends. It was basically putting up a wall to protect myself. I felt very anxious and worried 24/7 because there was always a possibility my wall would become damaged.

For many years, I had a separate identity at school vs. home. I would showcase myself in a way at school which made it seem like I was completely fine. However, deep down I was severely struggling and lost. I just wanted to tell everyone about my learning disabilities to feel free from the weight of lies. I felt like I was suffocating. When I scrolled through Instagram and saw a post about a magazine called "Dystinct Magazine" looking for writers, I knew I had to jump on the opportunity.

According to their Instagram page, they are a "Digital mag for evidence-based content and inspirational stories of coping with the struggles and hardships that learning difficulties bring." Dystinct is located in Australia and is available in 10 different languages. I was lucky to have the wonderful opportunity to write about how the education system is flawed when it comes to identifying and supporting students with learning disabilities.

I had an identity crisis before writing the Dystinct article. When I started to write down my built-up emotions, I started to feel freer. I was finally able to share my own traumatic experience with others. All I wanted was to share my story and help others feel less alone. This is also why I created a TikTok account, @jacquelyn_elyse, to spread awareness of Dyslexia and Dyscalculia. Far too many people have learning disabilities and never find someone who is publicly open about them. I talk about struggles, educate my supporters, and offer advice. I want it to be known to anyone who comes across my videos, that they are not alone.

Writing the Dystinct article made me realize that in order to accept myself for who I am, I would need to be open with my classmates about my learning disabilities. I worked up the courage over a few weeks to share the Dystinct article with my Instagram followers, who are mainly the people I go to school with. I was definitely stressed and overthinking about every possible way my classmates would not be supportive. This made it very hard to share such a personal and vulnerable aspect of myself. I was brave and finally wrote my post and hit "share". Once that happened, I was in full-on panic mode.

As the hours went by, I decided to check my phone and I saw an outpouring of positive messages. "Congratulations, this is amazing!!!." "This is so incredible and must've taken so much courage. Bravo to you! We're all so proud!" The messages I got totally exceeded my expectations. I understand that this support doesn't happen to everyone and that I'm very lucky for how my situation turned out. My advice to anyone who is struggling with their identity is to share your story on your own terms and don't let anyone influence your decision.